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【雅思培训】如何写出雅思7分作文中的长难句

文章作者:培顿教育 发布时间:2018-10-23 浏览量:319
文章摘要:雅思写作的四个评分标准:task response(TR:任务完成情况),coherence and cohesion(CC:逻辑性和连贯性), grammatical range and accuracy (GRA:语法运用的多样性和准确性),lexical resource(LR:词汇资源)。

雅思写作的四个评分标准:task response(TR:任务完成情况),coherence and cohesion(CC:逻辑性和连贯性), grammatical range and accuracy (GRA:语法运用的多样性和准确性),lexical resource(LR:词汇资源)。今天我们来学习一下如何写出长难句,实现作文的两个评分标准:CC 和 GRA.

沈阳雅思培训培顿国际教育拿一个具体的task2题目来举例:Some people think that time spent on television, video and computer games can be beneficial to children. To what extent do you agree or disagree? 在这个题目中我们要写到看电视玩游戏这些娱乐活动的好处坏处。

我们先来看一个论证看电视玩游戏这些活动的坏处的主体段:

学生习作

主题句Watching TV would cause children's grades to drop. 解释论证To be specific, children are too young to control their time on TV very well. They will spend too much time on watching TV, such as five hours or seven hours. So, they don't have enough time to study. (划线部分:41words)

在这个段落中,该学生用三个句子来解释了为什么看电视会导致学生成绩下降。从TR上来看,这三个句子把看电视会导致学生成绩下降理由解释得很充分,但是这样的句子却不能实现CC 和 GRA 这两个评分标准。为什么呢?

首先,这三个句子都是简单句,导致这个段落中没有任何从句(GRA)。另外,每一个句子与句子之间用句号隔开,因此这三个句子之间实现不了逻辑性和连贯性(CC)。

如何改动一下,来实现这两个评分标准?

很明显,这三个句子之间体现的是因果关系,因此沈阳雅思培训培顿国际教育建议可以用表现因果关系的从句及分词结构将这三个句子连成一个句子. 

To be specific, because children are too young to control their time on TV very well, they would spend too much time on watching TV, such as five hours or seven hours, which causes them to lack enough time to study. (41 words)

这个句子中,第一层因果关系使用了because引导的原因状语从句,第二层因果关系用了which引导的非限制性定语从句。

当然,我们不止一次需要在一个句子中表达这样的两层因果关系,因此我们需要变换连接结构。很简单,沈阳雅思培训培顿国际教育觉得可以用as,since,for来替换because实现第一层因果关系,用分词doing 结构来替换which非限制性定语从句来实现第二层因果关系。改写如下:

To be specific, since children are too young to control their time on TV very well, they would spend too much time on watching TV, such as five hours or seven hours, causing them to lack enough time to study. (41 words)

当然,上面这个主体段字数仍然偏少。我们可以从另外一个角度进一步来解释论证看电视会导致学生成绩下降理由:

Also, children are not mature yet, so it is easy for them to be addicted to various entertainments, including TV shows, anime, and teleplays, thus discouraging them from developing interest in other things. (33 words)

这个句子中用so 引导的状语从句来实现了第一层因果关系,依然用discouraging(doing)形式实现了体现了第二层因果关系。

用这种方法写出来的完整主体段:

To be specific, because children are too young to control their time on TV very well, they would spend too much time on watching TV, such as five hours or seven hours, which causes them to lack enough time to study. Also, children are not mature yet, so it is easy for them to be addicted to various entertainments, including TV shows, anime, and teleplays, thus discouraging them from developing interest in other things. (75 words)

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